I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize