I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
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Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
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You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize