Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize