Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize