he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
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you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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