I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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