He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
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I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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