the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
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It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Help. Why am I so naked?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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