Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize