A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize