see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think pants incapable of making pants work
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize