Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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