Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
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I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
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I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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