She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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