I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
no, he came in my armpit
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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