I wanna bring you to show and tell
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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