Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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