I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize