I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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