Me too!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize