dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize