I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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