South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
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i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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