yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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