I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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