I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
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WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
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Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
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