i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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