How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize