marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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