It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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