If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
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She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
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Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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