I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize