Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize