Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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