Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize