Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
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You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
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I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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