Even water is tasting like jack daniels
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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