Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize