if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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