She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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