Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize