I'm drive I can fine osifer
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize