Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize