We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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