I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
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She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
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Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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