You're my little dorito
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize