Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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