I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
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Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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