just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize