I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize